Yeah, I’m going to complain about this again because it’s happened twice this week and I am sick to death of it.

How can telemarketers or idiots banging on your door be as stupid as they are? What rational thought goes through their heads that they don’t know when to give up and go the hell away? Because I am about to get a shotgun and go after these assholes. I’m tired of it.

Last Saturday, my wife was sleeping in. I was up because I always am. Early-ish, my dogs start barking their heads off, which immediately pisses me off because I’m trying to let my wife sleep. Right next to the door is a sign that says “don’t bother us”. We’re not buying anything that you’re selling. Go the hell away.

But this asshole knocks anyhow. The dogs go off. I get mad and open the door and this retard is just standing there with a clipboard, like he’s completely oblivious.

“Can you not fucking read?” says I, pointing right at the sign.

“I read it,” he says without a clue in the world.

“And yet you still rang the bell. We don’t want anything you’re selling, go away!”

Now anyone with a brain cell ought to just back away, apologize and leave. There is obviously no sale here. It doesn’t matter what you do, you can’t recover this. Go away and try somewhere else. But no, he launches into his spiel.

“Did you not hear me? Go away. I am not buying anything you are selling. In fact, you have now pissed me off and you couldn’t sell me water if I was on fucking fire!” That should make it pretty clear, right?

Nope. He doesn’t even pause. He just keeps going, as I’m yelling at this fucktard. This is where I need the shotgun, not to shoot the prick, but to drive him off my property. Instead, I just slammed the door in his face. My wife was already awake from all the barking, but she went back to sleep and had a laugh at the whole thing. I’m not laughing. I do not accept this at all. Maybe if I knew what shit company he worked for, I could call and complain, but I figure they don’t care either. Let him just stare at my door. I don’t care.

If it was just that, then I wouldn’t have written this post. Today, while I’m at work, some bitch calls me and wants to buy my house. I get a ton of these. They don’t care if they’re bothering you. In fact, I can’t understand how they can’t figure out that they’re never getting any sales. The bitch calls, and it’s not like she’s even local, she’s calling from an exchange in another state. She wants to buy the house. I say no. Nicely. Please don’t bother me ever again. Yet she just keeps going, like she’s going to talk me into it.

Fuck her. Now I was in my office, where I can get as mad as I want and I’ve done it plenty. Everyone in the office thinks it’s hysterical. In fact, after I hung up, someone came in laughing, saying “someone wanted to buy your house again, huh?”

This happens 2-3 times a week on average. Fuck these people. I just went off on her after she didn’t apologize and hang up. “Is this the best job you can get, harassing people? What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you this dumb?” Because that’s what this is. This is harassment. If that’s what you’re employed to do, then you’re an asshole. Get a better job. Re-evaluate your life choices.

It wasn’t until I went off on her that she said “sorry” and hung up. They have to get a lot of this, right? How in the world can anyone in their right mind think they are going to make a sale by ignoring people’s wishes? That is not how this works. If someone tells you to go away, then go away. If lots of people tell you to go away, then realize that you’re a pestilence on society and do something else with your life.

The problem is, you can’t stop these people because they don’t care. I’ve been on the National No-Call list since the day it opened and they don’t care. Their numbers are all spoofed so nobody can hold them accountable and they have to get paid by the attempt, not by the successful sale, which is downright stupid. These are people who deserve abuse. They deserve a kick in the head.

Long ago, I got a call from one of these asshole companies and I told him to go away. Apparently, he had nothing better to do. He just kept calling back, over and over and getting abusive. At the time, our answering machine, you know, back in the days when they ran on cassette tapes, it had a function to record calls. So, I let him call back and when he started threatening my life, I had it on tape. He was saying “I know where you live and I can come and kick your ass”, stuff like that. This was also before spoofing numbers was a thing, so I called the phone company and filed a report, and then I called the police, since threats are a crime, and provided the tape to them. I don’t know the details, but I was assured by the police that it would never, ever happen again. Somebody went to jail. Good. Should have been executed. Fuck these people.

How stupid do you have to be not to take “go away” seriously? Is your time not worth anything? Do you have a brain in your head? Apparently not. I’ll just hold my frustration until the next time one of these mental midgets shows up or calls because I have no reason not to. Why would I do business with these assholes? Why would anyone?

It just makes no sense to me.