My Advice on “Coming Out” as an Atheist

I’ve been seeing a lot of discussion of late, people talking about how to “come out” as an atheist, how to announce that they no longer believe so that everyone they know is aware that they no longer believe.  And I have one word for all of these people, just one.  Here it is.


Just don’t.  Don’t make a big deal of it.  Don’t announce it.  Don’t sit down every single person in your life and let them know.  Just don’t bother.  Just stop being religious.  Move on with your life.  Stop going to church.  Stop reading whatever holy book you used to believe in.  Stop doing the things that you now think are silly.  Don’t tell people about it unless they ask, and if they do, don’t act like it’s a big deal.  Say you no longer believe in religion X.  Don’t make a big deal about it.  Just be yourself.

The reason I say that is because, to be honest, what you believe is really none of anyone’s business.  You don’t have to justify your non-belief to anyone.  What goes on in your head is your business, not theirs. Sitting people down and having a heart-to-heart discussion is more like asking permission.  You have no need for their permission.  You get to be your own person whether they like it or not.  And you have to be prepared for people to run away, this is something the religious often do because they simply cannot handle the fact that anyone wouldn’t fall for their ridiculous religious lunacy.  But assuming you came to your non-belief rationally, you have to accept the potential consequences as well.  Let them go.  They weren’t worth being around anyhow.

And of course, I’d say the same for gay people.  If you’re gay, be gay.  Be yourself.  You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.  They have no control.  They get to decide how they react, but they don’t get to try to change you.  Stand up for yourself and stop pretending that anyone else gets any say in your life. Get yourself a boyfriend or a girlfriend and have a good life.  Stop worrying what anyone else says.

This is yet another place where religion, primarily, causes problems in society.  There is nothing wrong with being gay or being an atheist, but the religiously delusional insist that there is, based on their beliefs in an imaginary friend and an ancient book of mythology.  Therefore, they’re often willing to throw really good people out of their lives because they don’t share the same irrational delusion.  It really doesn’t matter who they are, friends, family members, anyone who is willing to throw you in the trash over irrationality isn’t someone you need in your life in the first place.  Let them go.  It’s their problem not yours.  Make new friends who aren’t assholes.  Develop new relationships with decent people.  Let them suffer.  It’s their fault, not yours.  Stop pretending that you have to appeal to their sensibilities and just appeal to your own.  They’re the ones that lose, not you.

Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone acted that way?  It would end a ton of drama and that’s a good thing.

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