Horror Show Sunday: Half a Butt

Sometimes you get a story that is so ridiculous that you have to laugh, even though someone got hurt.  A Christian “prophet” named Alec Ndiwane decided that he could walk with the lions in Africa’s Kruger National Park and his faith in God wouldn’t allow him to get hurt.

Apparently, the lions had other ideas.

Ndiwane, head of the Zion Christian Church, decided to run toward a group of lions as they were chowing down on an antelope one day while his church group was visiting the park.  The lions decided to add Ndiwane to their meal.

Park rangers fired into the air to scare away the lions, but not before one lioness took a swipe at him that claimed a large chunk of his buttocks.  Ndiwane was rushed to the hospital to undergo emergency surgery.

“I do not know what came over me,” Ndiwane said after the event. “I thought the Lord wanted to use me to show his power over animals. Is it not we were given dominion over all creatures of the earth.”  I know exactly what came over you.  You’re a delusional idiot.  This is what happens when we allow delusional idiots to run free.  Unfortunately, we also have to save said delusional idiots from their delusional stupidity, taking up valuable time and resources saving them from themselves.

Frankly, I almost wish the lions had eaten him, although I’m sure that doing so would have been both nutritionally bad for the lions, the rangers would have felt obligated to kill the lions for killing the idiot.  Still, it isn’t the lions’ fault that this guy offered himself up as their buffet, was it?  Maybe God wanted him to feed himself to the lions?  Who are we to argue with the will of God?

So there you go, more religious stupidity that led to self-inflicted harm.  Nobody with half a brain is going to run into a pride of lions, but not only does Ndiwane not have half a brain, he only has half a butt.  That’s strangely fitting on Horror Show Sunday.

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