There have been some Experian commercials running on the radio recently and the more I hear them, one in particular, the more they make me angry. Oh, it has nothing to do with knowing your FICO score, it has to do with the fact that every single person in these commercials who gets their score from Experian is a fucking dick.
They tell you to get your “credit swagger on”, but instead, they are just fricking pricks. Apparently this is part of a larger media campaign, but since I don’t watch TV commercials, I wasn’t aware of it. I tried to find a recording of the radio commercial in question and was unable to, so I’m going to have to describe it to you. It starts off with some woman checking out an exclusive apartment and the snobby apartment manager telling her that she needs a credit check. Oh, but thanks to the tools on Experian, she has a high credit rating, so hey bitch, cross out the no-pet clause in the lease and while you’re at it, I have this wolf hybrid that I’m going to put into your no pet community, fuck you very much.
No, fuck you right back bitch, get your stupid dog out of here, I don’t care what your goddamn credit score is. That doesn’t give you the right to just ignore community rules because you’ve got your head up your ass. That’s kind of how all of these commercials are, there isn’t a respectable, respectful educated Experian customer in the lot, they’re all complete assholes who think that somehow knowing their FICO score makes them special little flowers that get their way. This isn’t knowledge as power, it’s knowledge as exceptionalism and it pisses me off.
Come on Experian, can’t you do any better than that? Or are you suggesting that the people who use your credit tracker are a bunch of entitled shitheads that treat everyone else like crap? If so, fuck you too.