Religious Super-Sensitivity

crying
You’re asking me to take responsibility for my life? You monster!

Wow, I’m finding a lot to bitch about religion lately, which I guess isn’t any real surprise, but there you go.  I just had someone tell me a story about her family, who belong to this super-strict Christian sect that believe that you can never get re-married unless your ex-spouse is dead.  If your husband divorces you, you have to remain unmarried for the rest of your life because if you get married again while your husband lives, it’s adultery and we can’t have that.

So apparently, her brother divorced his wife of 20 years and ran off with his secretary, after conveniently leaving the religion so it was all kosher.  So she’s sitting there lamenting how terrible it is for his ex-wife, who has two children, that she has to spend the rest of her life alone because of this ridiculous religious conviction.  So I tell her hey, it’s her choice to remain with the religion, the ex-wife could do exactly what her brother did, change religions and then go get re-married if she wants! While the situation sucks and her brother is an asshole, that’s no excuse for this poor woman to spend the rest of her life alone for something she apparently had no fault in.

Oh boy, the shit hits the fan!  Suddenly, I’m a horrible, horrible person for suggesting that she can throw away her deeply held religious beliefs of the past 40 years, just because it’s convenient.  Well hell, her brother seems to have been able to do it!  I didn’t even tell her to do anything, I’ve never even met this person, but now I’m evil because I want her to go give up her religion.  Nope, I just gave it as an option.  Let’s be honest, her ex-sister-in-law is the only one keeping herself in this situation. Nobody is holding a gun to her head.  Nobody is forcing her to keep these beliefs.  This is like bashing yourself on the head with a brick repeatedly and pretending you’re the victim.  No, just stop hitting yourself with a brick!  This isn’t that hard!  But no, I’m the bad person because I dare to suggest common sense.  Go figure.

I will never understand these people.

5 thoughts on “Religious Super-Sensitivity

  1. Indoctrination is a powerful thing. I would guess there are a few things in play here.

    1. I'm sure this religion is at least partially based on fear. You don't follow the tenants of the religion you go to hell. So if she is a true believer here, she can't just bail on the religion as it becomes inconvenient.

    2. Perhaps she sees this as a test from God.

    3. Suffering is often glorified (think mother theresa). So maybe all of the bullshit she is going through is being twisted into a good thing.

    I would also bet that she is at times angry at God, and has perhaps even considered leaving the religion in some moments, then feels guilty and scared for having those thoughts. Then perhaps even doubling down to be a good member of the sect to make up for it. I'm pretty sure this is exactly how I would have reacted a few decades ago.

    I do think it is good to voice the idea of bailing on the religion, but I am also not surprised it was reacted to in that fashion. Hopefully it will stick in their brain for later.
    My recent post Giving Credit to God

  2. I'm sure this religion is at least partially based on fear. You don't follow the tenants of the religion you go to hell. So if she is a true believer here, she can't just bail on the religion as it becomes inconvenient.

    1. I don't know, I had a girlfriend many, many, many years ago whose father converted to Judaism to marry her mother, which I gather is rather rare. The idea that you can entirely change your views on the fundamental nature of the universe because you fall in love with someone seems a bit sketchy to me.

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