Horror Show Friday: Jesus Says Steal That Ambulance!

Jesus apparently can’t teach you how to drive though.

At first, I wasn’t going to put this into the Religious Horror Show, after all, nobody was actually killed, but after I found out that one of the movers was seriously injured and hospitalized and, at least as I’m writing this, his condition is unknown, I figured Horror Show Friday was as good a place as any for this piece of religious insanity.

In Houston, a man stole an ambulance as it waited outside of a call.  He drove it around for about 30 minutes before he smashed into a moving truck, injuring at least one of the movers, requiring him to be taken to the hospital.

The man’s reason for stealing the ambulance?  Well, in his own words, “Lord Jesus Christ told me to steal the ambulance.”  The identity of the thief has not yet been released, but what can you say about a guy who thinks Jesus is telling him to steal emergency vehicles?

According to an eyewitness, “I was upstairs working and I heard a loud bang,” said Randy Bingham. “I’ve never seen an ambulance involved in a collision like that, especially the way that it happened.”  The way it happened?  Religious freaks behind the wheel?

Now I bring this up, not only because someone was injured in the collision, but because of the potential harm that could have been caused, had the ambulance been needed to transport a seriously ill or injured patient to the hospital.  What would paramedics do if they were wheeling someone out on a gurney, only to find most of their medical equipment, as well as their transportation, missing at the curb? As bad as this was, it could have been much worse.

Oh yeah, the religious are going to say that he was just crazy and it has nothing to do with Christianity, but that’s really not the case.  Yes, I agree, this guy is probably out of his gourd, but who put it into his head that there was some disembodied spook telling him what to do?  Wherever did he get that idea?  It didn’t just come out of the blue, he didn’t just make up a name, he specified one belonging to Christian dogma.  Because Christianity teaches this imaginary thing is real, because it’s almost certain that this guy got the idea from Christian dogma, I’m placing some modicum of blame at Christianity’s door.

You know, this could have turned out even worse if you think about it.  The guy could have let Jesus drive.


3 thoughts on “Horror Show Friday: Jesus Says Steal That Ambulance!”

  1. Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny,and the Monster under the Bed; get them to believe that when they are children, and Jesus/ God are an easy sell.

    1. We'll probably never know and I hope not, but since the ambulance can receive a call any time, with some religious zealot out galavanting around in the ambulance, it's always possible.

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