We just got back from Wondercon and usually, there’s some religious comic book group there, although I never see anyone ever stopping at their booth. This year, we get Christian gamers and a group called GameChurch. They had out a little book called “Jesus, For The Win!”, a book, as they describe it, “about a guy named Jesus, his Guild, and his ultimate quest to save a land known as Earth”. If that sounds ridiculous, you’re right. My daughter picked one up for me because she figured I’d get a chuckle out of it and she was right. This thing is absurd cover to cover, it reads almost as though these people knew they were ridiculous and were trying to make fun of themselves.
It always entertains me to see the lengths these religious idiots will go to appeal to the one demographic that has no interest whatsoever in their wares: young people. The majority of people under 30 are non-religious these days and the churches know that if they’re going to stay in operation after their increasingly aging congregants drop dead, they have to find some way to get kids into the pews. Often, as in this case, they try to portray Jesus as some “hip dude” that likes the same things that the kids like and does the same kind of things that the kids do. I’ve seen pictures of Jesus on a skateboard, breakdancing, posting on Twitter and Facebook, it’s really absurd when you think about it, but more laughable to think that kids can’t see straight through the ridiculous advertising that it clearly is. Sorry Christianity, kids aren’t nearly as stupid and gullible as you seem to think they are.
That doesn’t stop them from trying though. Essentially, this is a hipster version of the Jesus story, but they assume that anyone reading it is really going to get into it. For instance, in the section on the Crucifixion, they say:
Stop reading the Jesus story for a minute.
I know, it was just getting good. There’s betrayal, people are pissed off, angry mobs. Trust me, I know.
No, you don’t know because there’s nothing good about the story. Sure, you people try to twist and turn it, describing Jesus as “Sayid from “Lost””, but in the end, the story just isn’t very good no matter how they try to make it cool. It’s laughable. It’s ridiculous. Anyone over the age of 8 with any kind of education can see straight through the myths and lies and nonsensical bullshit. This is not going to attract a younger following because the same problems with Christianity remain. They have no real answers. They just have empty claims. It doesn’t matter if you re-cast Jesus as a hipster, the mythology is still ridiculous and supported with absolutely no evidence whatsoever. It’s the same shit, different twist. Kids aren’t walking away from religion because they can’t identify with Jesus, they’re doing it because religion is nonsense and they know it.
I’ve said before that these religious groups rarely get anyone stopping at their booth. Sometimes it’s because they’re in a bad spot. This year, they had some pretty prime real estate at the intersection of two major aisles. They still had nobody. I never saw anyone at the booth in the dozen or so times I walked past it during Wondercon. They’re not fooling anyone except themselves.