Shame and Cosplay

Skimpy Cosplay
Hey, stop looking at me you sexist!

Not too long ago, I wrote a post over on my other blog about cosplay at Wondercon where I pointed out some inappropriate behavior that I thought should have embarrassed the individuals.  All of my posts get re-posted over on Facebook, even though I really can’t stand Facebook and hardly ever look at it, but apparently, someone took exception, and got really insulting, to what I wrote.  Because this isn’t really material for my other blog, I decided to write about it here.

Essentially, I wrote that there were people, both male and female, who were dressing up in costumes, but who apparently neither had a mirror, nor anyone with common sense, to tell them that what they were wearing wasn’t particularly flattering. In particular, I spoke about one Sailor Moon costume where the woman (she seemed like she was in her early 20s maybe) had the costume pulled up so tight that it was like dental floss between her ass cheeks, putting them out there for all to see.  I recommended that she try some tights next time if she wanted to do that.  At the same time, I also mentioned men who were wearing Spider-Man and Deadpool costumes who should have been wearing jock straps or at least underwear because they were putting something else on public display.

So I get this really angry message that I was being a sexist, even though I pointed out the same problem in both men and women, and a rape-enabler and a pervert for even thinking about taking a picture of this girl’s ass.  I said in the post that I fought an internal battle whether I should shoot a “don’t do this” picture to post on the blog or not.  I didn’t do it.  Apparently, even looking at her ass, even noticing that she was swinging her ass around for all to see, makes me a rape apologist and a potential rapist.  No, sorry, it doesn’t.

This woman made a choice when she put on the costume and left the house, exposing her cheeks for all the world to see. Actions, like it or not, have consequences.  No, those consequences should not include someone touching her, nor doing anything inappropriate to her, but if you’re going to put yourself on display, people are going to look. If you don’t want people to look, don’t give them something to look at.  It’s just common sense.  That goes for both men and women.  And whether you want people to look or not, you can’t control what goes on in their heads, either positive or negative.  I know this is going to bring about a whole new shitstorm, where lots of radical leftist feminists are going to hate you because you “slut-shame”, but you know something?  I think sluts ought to be shamed, be they male or female.  I don’t discriminate.  I don’t think that anyone ought to aspire to be a slut at all.  I can’t stop you from doing it but I can sure think you’re an asshole and I’m as entitled to my opinions as anyone else.

This reminds me of someone I knew many years ago on IRC who told me about her best friend who, according to her, had 30+ sexual partners in the first two years of being sexually active.  I had a negative reaction, as did she, she thought her friend was a slut, but nobody in her circle of friends agreed, in fact, they insulted her if she ever mentioned her disagreement.  Therefore she just kept her mouth shut, except to me because we agreed on the situation.  I was probably in my late 30s at the time, my friend was 21.  It’s rare to find young people who actually understand responsibility and morality.  Neither of us had any interest in shaming her  friend, I didn’t know her except by report, she really cared about her friend and thought she was going down the wrong path, but our reactions had nothing to do with harming this person, but in wanting to protect her.  Of course, today, most liberals want to be able to do whatever they want and suffer absolutely no consequences or negative repercussions for doing it. but that’s not realistic.  In fact, I’d argue that it’s harmful.  One thing that keeps people in line is actually caring what people around you think.  If it becomes entirely irrelevant, as it clearly is to many young liberals, then what’s to stop these people from being out of control?  Further, since liberals want people to act in a particular manner that they approve of, if people don’t care what liberals think or want, how are they going to be convinced?  Shame is a very powerful tool, one that has essentially vanished in modern society and that explains many of the social issues that we face today.

7 thoughts on “Shame and Cosplay”

  1. Personally, I do not care what people do with their bodies in terms of sexual partners, clothing, etc. But that said, I think if someone points out that your clothes look ridiculous or that they think you are a slut, that is also okay. After all, everyone is entitled to their opinion and actions.

    However, actions have responsibilities and people should be prepared to accept responsibility. In the case of multiple sexual partners, do not cry if you get some deadly disease. If you wear clothes you normally see on a streetwalker, do not be surprised if you get propositioned. Is it correct if this happens? No, but suck it up and accept it.
    My recent post The head in the clouds theist

    1. "If you wear clothes you normally see on a streetwalker, do not be surprised if you get propositioned. Is it correct if this happens? No, but suck it up and accept it."

      Accept it? As in shut the fuck up and don't criticize those who criticize them? This is a huge load of horseshit. If it is wrong to do these things, as you acknowledge it is, then being silent when it happens is not the appropriate response. Accepting it in silence is not the appropriate response. The assholes that do such things should be called out for their assholery by both the targets of these acts and any other decent human being who thinks such behavior is wrong. That includes you, if, as you say, you genuinely believe it is wrong when these assholes proposition a woman because they think that what she is wearing gives them license to treat her as their sex toy, an object there for their personal pleasure.

      1. Look, if it bothers you (not you personally) then do not do it. Every action has a consequence, and while the consequence may not be desirable we should not be looking to create a reaction we are not happy receiving. If it does not bother you then by all means do what you want. I say not desirable as no one wants to be called a republican, democrat, slut, dickhead, freak etc. when they feel they are not.

        For example, there are cosplayers all around the world that do what they do and get called freaks for dressing up as anime characters. They do it because they want to and are well aware of the fact that people call them freaks or the like. This is not based on sex, this is not sexism. To elaborate let me give further examples. If a man dresses like a slut, and gets called a slut tough. If a man wear no shirt and gets called mockingly tough guy, then so be it. My dress sense is poor, and I get called homeless many times, guess what I DO NOT CARE.
        My recent post The head in the clouds theist

        1. He's just making the rounds being a dick as always. As I've said before, nobody pays any attention to what he says, I don't even read it. It's easier that way.

          1. It is a dickish dodge to engage in name calling without actually addressing the arguments or criticisms of the person you are calling a dick. But then I would not expect anything other than such a dickish response from a person unwilling and most probably incapable of formulating an intelligent response.

          2. "It's easier that way."

            Translation: It's too intellectually challenging for me so I just ignore him.

  2. You are absolutely right that you have a right to your opinion and to express it. Likewise the person to whom your slut-shaming remarks are directed, as well as others who are listening, are equally well within their rights to call you out for your assholery. And when they do, don't whine about it. It just makes you look like more of an asshole.

    The number of sexual partners a person has is not up to you. Sure, go ahead and express your moral indignation about it. It just makes you look like those religious assholes you spend so much effort criticizing.

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