The Whine For The Win!

auto-repairPeople whine about the stupidest things, this time out, we’re going to talk about modern cars and the “fact” that people “can’t” work on their own car.  This was brought up by an article, written by Steven Lang, over on Yahoo Autos, where he whines about 7 reasons that people “can’t” work on their own cars.

Of course, you can work on your own car, assuming you have the proper knowledge and equipment to do so and that seems to be what confuses Steven.  He seems to think that just because his garage is full of 30 year old tools, he ought to be able to use them on modern cars, just like he could when he was a kid.  Unfortunately for him, that was 30 years ago when the tools actually fit the parts on the cars and that’s not necessarily the case today.  It’s like people complaining they can’t change the tubes on their television.

tv with tubesNow I remember growing up when you could work on your own TV.  You open up the back and there was a huge array of tubes that you could test and change out at the local hardware store.  If things failed, it was a relatively mechanical adjustment and since your TV was usually a rather large piece of equipment, difficult to take to a shop for repair, you did a lot of it yourself if you could.  Today, however, that’s largely impossible, there are few user-replaceable parts in a television and even if there were, most of us don’t have the equipment to test the parts to find out what needs fixing in the first place.  I’m sure somewhere out there are people bitching and complaining that they can’t do it themselves.  Come on people, grow up and deal with it.

So let’s look at these seven really ridiculous, whiny reasons why this doofus thinks we can’t work on our cars.

Motor Oil:  So let me get this straight, is he asking why we “can’t” work on our cars, or why we might not save a ton of money working on our cars?  You certainly can change your own oil if you want, he’s complaining that it might be more expensive than he remembers in years past.  Well guess what, dumbass, oil prices have gone up.  You might have seen it in the news, assuming you can read?  I guess he’s also complaining about the fact that you can’t just dump your old oil down the storm drains so it dumps into our waterways and pollutes the environment. Damn being responsible!  Yes, you might as well just take it in if you’re so irresponsible that you can’t do it the right way.  What a twit.

Plastic Shrouds:  Next he whines about all of the plastic shrouds in the engine that might intimidate a novice because, you know, unscrewing things is a challenge.  Sorry, anyone who can’t manage a couple of screws shouldn’t  be messing around under the hood in the first place.  He thinks this is a conspiracy theory to keep auto dealerships in business.  No, it’s an essential part of the way the engine operates, they work to control the flow of air and heat in, around and out of the engine compartment.  We’re sorry that efficiency confuses you.

Gravel Shields:  Oops, we’re back to the confusing issue of screws and how some people don’t understand what a screwdriver is, nor do they have the 2 minutes necessary to remove a couple of screws.  Seriously?  This guy is that stupid?  Yeah, of course he is, what a whiner.  And here’s a news flash for you, if those plastic screws break, they cost about $2 for a dozen.  Go buy a couple of dozen to keep on hand.  Or better yet?  Replace them with metal screws.  I know this is horribly confusing, that these screws can be replaced, but keep thinking about it, I’m sure  you’ll get it eventually.

Sealed Containers:  I have no idea what car this guy is driving, but the only car out there that I know of that doesn’t have a dipstick for the oil is an extremely high-end Mercedes AMG that has a computer that tells you when the oil is low.  Otherwise, every car on the road has one and this guy is a moron.  In fact, the only fluid that many cars do not give you a place to check is the coolant, which he talks about, and complains about, next…

Lifetime Fluids:  Ah, here we find the real reason he’s whining.  He’s cheap.  He wants his car to last forever.  So why do you have a newer car, where any of these things are a problem?  Why aren’t you driving your 1967 Dodge Dart?  You won’t ever have any of these problems with one of those.  But no, he buys a modern car, full of modern conveniences, then he bitches and whines about those new conveniences.  What an ass.

Longer Maintenance Intervals:  Now I don’t know about you, but fixing your car is a pain in the ass.  I guess this guy actually likes having his car break down and replacing things.  There was a time when you were supposed to get an oil change every 3000 miles.  Now, with synthetic oils, it’s more like 10,000 miles.  But this guy thinks this is a grand conspiracy by car manufacturers to keep people from doing their own maintenance because, if they don’t have to constantly think about it, they’ll get lazy and that’s got to be someone else’s fault!

Computer Diagnostics:  And now the worst of them all, his “damn kids, get off my lawn!” nonsense.  If you want to read your computer, go get a scanner.  It’s that simple.  They cost what they cost, I’ve seen them for as little as $30, running to several hundred dollars, depending on how advanced you want to get.  The scanner recommended by J.C. Whitney for my particular car runs $73.95.  If that’s prohibitive, then no, you can’t work on your car because you’re too fucking cheap.

I’m sorry, but tools cost money.  Trust me, I have an entire workshop stuffed full of them, they are often the most expensive part of any project and until you collect enough of them, things you do are going to be expensive. Welcome to reality.  We can go back to my TV example.  Most people cannot do their own work on their own TV. If they bought the equipment, if they had the training, they could.  They choose not to.  The same with cars. If you want to work on your car, buy the equipment necessary to do so, get the education that you need to understand what you’re doing and shut the fuck up.

Or better yet, get a fucking job so you can afford to take it to the shop and let a professional do it.

Geez, these anti-progress trolls are just idiotic.

One thought on “The Whine For The Win!”

  1. If he wants to work on cars, buy an antique from the era he idolizes.

    They made cars to need a tune up every 12,000 miles. U-joints to be greased every time, along with zirc fittings in many front end suspension parts. My 1966 Jeep truck had 3 grease fittings on each rear leaf spring alone.

    I can still 'work' on my more modern vehicle, but I wouldn't want to go back! He wrote as a person that doesn't actually work on cars, from the tone of his comments.

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