In a recent episode of the 700 Club, evangelist and all-around lunatic Pat Robertson informs us that not every piece of clothing that comes from a thrift store is possessed by demons.
Well thank goodness for that!
One listener called in and asked him if she should bless objects she bought at Goodwill before bringing them into her home because her mother told her that demons could “attach themselves to material items.”
Exactly how far out of your mind do you have to be before you would even entertain asking such a ridiculous question? And is it better or worse for objects you buy at the Salvation Army?
Pat, good old insane Pat, confirmed that yes, a sweater can have a demon attached to it, but not to get too worried that everything you buy from Goodwill is possessed. Still, it doesn’t hurt to be careful and to rebuke the demons from your clothes.
So my question is, why stop there? Maybe there are demons in your Cheerios! It could be that your papayas are possessed! You could have evil in your egg carton! It doesn’t hurt to pray over everything in your house, does it? Anything that passes your threshold could be positively packed with pernicious poltergeists!
Or you could just be sane, realize demons don’t exist and this whole thing exists only in the head of the delusional.