Furries KiddingI walked away from the whole furry fandom thing many years ago, I didn’t keep up with any of the people and I haven’t paid attention to what few smoldering ruins of the fandom still remain.  In fact, I honestly don’t care if the vast majority of furries I was aware of would explode into a fireball, that’s how little I care about any of them.  However, I do know people who, through friends of friends of friends, still maintain a vague knowledge of what’s going on and from time to time, they spring the most absurd parts of it on me, mostly to remind me why I walked away in the first place.

Today, they informed me that one well-known furry artist from the old days was arrested for having a metric shit-ton of kiddy porn on their computer.  Another, he wagers, should expect a visit from CPS because he’s teaching his kids how to dumpster dive, that is unless his wife just takes them away entirely in the upcoming divorce.  Kind of a shame, now that I think of it, because I was the one who put together the music for their wedding in the first place.

But you know, it isn’t just that I walked away from furry, but honestly, furry, which was somewhat of a force back in the early days of the Internet, has largely just gone away.  Oh sure, you can find a couple of conventions around, you can find some websites on fursuiting, but by and large, you don’t go to conventions and find big banners for furry parties, you don’t find tables selling memberships for furry conventions, it seems to have gone very much underground.

Why?  Because it’s just not necessary anymore.  The people we saw back in the day were the early adopters, the fanatics, the people who really buried themselves in it and never came up for air.  These people were the “lifestylers”, and yes, that was really a thing.  They were the people who not only enjoyed anthropomorphics, they not only wanted to go to conventions, they not only wanted to talk about it, these people wanted to live it.  These were people who were so delusional, they thought they were actually furry animals trapped in human bodies.  There were some of them who refused to answer to their “human slave names” and even some who felt so attracted to their animal selves that they underwent surgical techniques to bring themselves closer to their idealized inner beast.

Logical Sledgehammer

The Logical Sledgehammer, smashing delusion and fanatical nonsense for 50 years.

Now yes, these people were crazy, but I only bring this up because debating one of these “lifestylers” was pretty much identical to debating many modern-day crazy Christians.  The logical sledgehammer just doesn’t work on these people because they’re so buried under their fanatical beliefs that there’s no room whatsoever for anything else.  I had one guy tell me seriously, that he was, in fact, not a fat, balding, uneducated turd with bad skin and worse breath.  No, he was a 40-foot long fire-breathing red dragon!  Why did I see him as a pathetic excuse for human excrement?  Because, according to him, my puny human mind simply could not process the majesty of his true form and was thus, inserting something it could comprehend.  It took me a few seconds to process this incredible nugget of information before I looked around the small room we were in and asked him how he, in his true red dragon form, had managed to shove himself into the perhaps 12′ room, and how he had managed to squeeze his magnificent bulk through the rather narrow doorway.  I’d like to say I walked away, just as smoke started pouring from his ears, but that’s not true, he remained supremely confident in his claims, whether they made any sense or not.

Just like theists.  I find that I can have the same kind of conversations with theists who are convinced that they have angels watching over them, certain to leap to their defense at a moment’s notice.  I always wonder what would happen if I just walked over and punched them in the face.  Would the angels keep me from it, or, more likely, would they find some ad hoc rationalization for why the angels didn’t bother to try?

There are a lot of people out there that need professional help.  At least the crazy furries, the people who go on job interviews in fursuits (yes, that actually happened), or show up to jury duty wearing ears and a tail (that happened too) can be declared out of their ever-loving minds and carted off for 24-hour observation.  The religious though are a different matter.  Religion gets an automatic pass in much of society.  When a large portion of the population thinks there’s an imaginary friend in the sky watching over them, it’s pretty hard to get judges to order psychiatric evaluation for all but the most extreme examples without getting lynched.  This is a fundamental problem because honestly, I think there are a lot more religious people out there who are really insane, not just deluded, than we might like to think.  Maybe we ought to start looking a bit closer at the religious crazies, the people who really drink the koolaid, and see if maybe these people are more of a danger to themselves and others than we’d often feel comfortable admitting.

Because seriously, these people should not be on the streets with the rest of us.

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