So Now That You’re Dead…

mayanOh wait, you’re not?  But the Mayans predicted we all would be, sometime yesterday.  So what went wrong?

A long time ago, I wrote that I was hoping for mass suicides by all of the crazies that took this nonsense seriously.  After all, how better to clear the gene pool than to let the nutballs kill themselves off?  If the numbers still hold true, 10% of the population worldwide thought that the world was going to end yesterday.  What could we do with 700,000,000 fewer stupid people on the planet.  If we expand that to all of the people worldwide who are convinced that the world will end sometime in their  lifetimes, that rises the percentage to 15%.  Get rid of all of those people and you’re clearing 1,050,000,000 idiots off the planet.  Of course, some countries are more insane than others and few are as crazy as the United States, where up to 22% think the world is coming to an end soon.  You could get rid of 77 million lunatic Christians if they’d all just slaughter each other for Jesus.  That’s the population of California, Texas and most of New York gone!  the majority of the neo-con Republican leadership would be gone, leaving room for actual conservatives to come in and take over again!  Now if only we could find a reason for crazy left-wing liberals to likewise off themselves, the world might be a better place to live!

But no, unfortunately we didn’t see the kind of mass crazy suicides I was hoping for, although I’m sure there were a few here and there.  The supposed Mayan prediction was no more worthwhile than any of the other apocalyptic claims that have been made for thousands of years.  All of them have failed and disappointed their various supporters.

So what do we have to look forward to?  There are a couple of predictions upcoming in the next couple of decades that, let’s be honest, will fail, but hopefully they’ll take a bunch of crazies with them.  Somewhere between 2018-2028, F. Kenton Beshore predicts that the world will end, based on the failed prediction made by Hal Lindsey.  Instead of taking Lindsey’s figure of 40 years for an Israelite generation, he uses a figure of 70-80 years.  In 2029, we’ll be laughing.  Then there’s Jeane Dixon, the loony psychic who think the world will end between 2020-2037 when Jesus comes back and takes on the antichrist.  Of course, she’s dead, so nobody can point at her face and laugh when nothing happens.

You’d think these end-of-the-world crazies would get tired of being wrong but no, these “predictions” keep being made and keep passing without anything happening and the prophets keep making excuses for why the world didn’t end of schedule.  If one good thing comes from it, it allows rational people something to laugh at.  Unfortunately, it has yet to provide the good that would come from mass suicides from the religious followers.

So next time someone tells you the world is about to end, encourage them to step up and show their faith and put a bullet in their brain.  It only betters the human race each time one of these theistic retards does.

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