Danger!

The Japanese come up with some of the weirdest movie concepts out there.  I’ve seen a lot of them, although some that threaten to make your brain explode, like Tetsuo: The Iron Man, I haven’t gotten been brave enough to watch.  I’ve got them, mind you, I just haven’t seen them all the way through.

Others, such as Tokyo Gore Police, Machine Girl and the ever-classic Robo Geisha, are disturbing on a level very few American movies can match, part mind-bendingly weird, part gut-wrenching gore and part falling-over absurd.

Now, however, comes the latest gore thriller, called… get this… Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead.  Yeah, the title might make you roll your eyes and maybe it should, but let’s take a look at it anyhow, shall we?

Directed by Noboru Iguchi, who is well known not only for his bizarre mainstream movies, like Machine Girl and Cat Eyed Boy, but for his outright porn.  He’s also known for being obsessed with anything anal, which is where this movie comes in.  There’s plenty of nudity in most of his movies too, if you’re into that kind of thing, but usually, it’s covered with blood and freaky mechanical devices.

The story, what there is of one, is simple.  A group of teenagers go camping in the woods.  While fishing, they discover a worm-like parasite inside one of the fish and teen model Maki swallows it whole, believing that eating worms and beetles will keep her thin.  That, as should be obvious, was a mistake.  The group is attacked by a horde of poop-covered zombies that escape from an outhouse toilet and chase them into the house and arms of Dr. Tanaka, whose experiments on both worms and the undead in order to save his sick daughter Saki, place everyone in danger.  Faced with a mad doctor and his insane daughter on one side and crap-covered undead and fart-causing parasites on the other, they fight for their lives.

Of course, America has managed to come up with a couple of really absurd poop-baased movies too, such as Monsturd (2002).  Yeah, I didn’t believe the title when I first heard it either.  It’s the kind of thing we would really expect out of Troma without batting an eye, but I think it’s in such bad taste that even they wouldn’t touch it.

Monsturd centers on the story that a young girl tells her father during a lightning storm about an evil corporation called Dutech which has been dumping chemicals into the sewers where, conveniently, violent escaped criminal Jack Schmitt is hiding.  The mixture turns him into the titular Monsturd, a giant shit monster that comes up through people’s toilets.  Can the police hunt down the monster before the town’s great chili cook-off?

I know these movies are just too much for most people, after all, the very idea of the scatological can make lots of people gag, but neither one is all that serious, even if they try to play it straight.  They’re both ridiculous B-flicks that, if you have a strong enough stomach, are fun to watch and you will be laughing your way through both of them.

Monsturd has been available on DVD for a while now and you can get it dirt cheap on Amazon.  Zombie Ass came out in Japan a few months ago, but Media Blasters just announced they’ve got the rights to it and it will be released in the U.S. at an unknown, but hopefully speedy date.

There’s weird crap and then… there’s weird crap.  These are both, um, both.

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