The American Family Association, a well-known right-wing religious group, came out recently with an announcement that they planned to boycott Google. Why? Because Google supports gay rights. Yeah, I know, the horror, the horror.
Google, however, has become rather ubiquitous in modern online life. It’s hard to get away from. They have their fingers in most technical pies. It’s not as easy as choosing a different search engine, most of the major search engines are owned by companies that are openly in favor of gay marriage.
In reality, if you look at a list of the properties and companies that Google owns, there’s not much they can do. Google owns AdSense, a program that generates revenue by posting ads on websites. I’m willing to bet that at least some of the AFA websites use AdSense. Do they use e-mail? Many ISPs use Gmail, another Google product, to provide e-mail services to their subscribers. In fact, if AFA uses anything that utilizes voice or video online, chances are it’s got code in it belonging to Global IP Solutions, another Google subsidiary. Lots of what Google owns, they license to other companies and thus, using any of those other companies, like it or not, supports Google financially.
The only way to entirely stop using Google and Google products online is to get offline entirely.
So anyhow, here’s their statement, take a look at this and tell me what you think the problem is.
Of course, the problem should be obvious, YouTube is a Google property. You know, that thing they’re trying to boycott? That place where they have 6000 videos? And why is their channel still on YouTube, more than a week after their announcement that they were boycotting the company? Because they’re hypocrites.
So what do they do about cell phones? They do acknowledge that Android is a Google property, so assuming they all get rid of their Android phones, what do they go with? Windows? Nope, Microsoft is on their list of companies they’re boycotting because they have a similar stand on gay rights. Apple? Well, even though Apple isn’t on their active boycott list, it has a long history of fighting against gay hatred. This is no secret and therefore, if AFA actually cares about their stand, Apple products are out too. So… no cell phones of any kind. In fact, that means that they’re really not able to use most computers either. All Windows and Apple OS-based systems are off-limits. Sure, they could use Linux but they don’t strike me as the hacker types who could handle an operating system that doesn’t hold your hand.
Of course, since Android is a free operating system, it doesn’t matter to Google if they boycott it or not. In fact, pretty much nobody cares. Assuming, for a moment, that these people have cell phones under 2-year contracts, they can’t drop the contract without paying big penalties anyhow. They can go buy new phones, which will only make the cell phone companies happy, but whether they burn Android phones or not means nothing to anyone. They have to keep paying their monthly bills whether they use the phone or not. Talk about pointless.
So no computers, no cell phones… what else? Oh wait, probably no TV either. Providers like Netflix provide portal service for GoogleTV. In fact, Google announced in January that it had signed agreements with LG, Samsung, Sony and Vizio to incorporate GoogleTV technology into their televisions. This isn’t too new, considering plenty of existing hardware from those manufacturers, such as my very own LG Bluray player, already has it installed. I can access YouTube straight over my wireless network, on my Bluray player.
What about just regular, run-of-the-mill appliances? Nope, those run Android too. There have been all kinds of kitchen and utility devices that run the Android operating system. Microwaves, refrigerators, washer and dryers, you name it. Many of them run on Android.
In fact, there isn’t much they can do. They’ve chosen companies to boycott without considering the implications of their actions. They pretty much have to shut down their entire online presence, get off the phone, turn off the TV, stay out of the kitchen, stay away from their cars… in fact, maybe they can huddle in the corner of their basement and hide from the world. That sounds like a fine idea actually. They can’t handle reality as it is, maybe if they’d just wall themselves up in their cellars, the world would be a much better place to live.
Please, Google, install Android on absolutely everything! Keep these primitive asshats away from the rest of us. You’d be doing the planet a great favor.